It was two years ago today when my baby sister, Julie, made her journey into the other world, just six months after my older sister, Jan, made her transition, due to a battle with breast cancer.
Julie had a rough last few years. Bless her heart. After decades of being married to an alcoholic, she became one herself, but she finally sought help and sobered up after twenty some odd years. Julie had three years of sobriety under her belt when her husband, Tom, shot himself while the two were sitting on the couch watching TV. The trauma of that day, and the image of him, was just too much for her to escape. She started drinking again. Cousin Mark and I helped her move to a new home to gain new ground, but she never could. She missed her honey and did not want to live without him. Instead, she chose to drink herself to death. Ascites in the abdomen due to cirrhosis of the liver is painful. The toxic build up put her into a hepatic coma.
Watching her physical body wither and decline in her final days was hard and sad. My twin brother Jeff, sister-in-law, Barb, and various cousins stayed with her, praying over her, singing to her, and playing some of her favorite songs. We kept vigil for less than a week. On the eve of her passing, when the ego and personality were no longer present, I felt her beautiful, radiant spirit emerge so strongly that I asked my brother whether he could feel it too. He said he could. In those last few hours, I felt I finally got my sister back. The gentle, loving soul we knew in our youth and in our college days living together, was with us once again. We also felt our ancestors, our mother and grandmother, surrounding us as if they were all eager to take her home. It was such a tremendous gift to feel her spirit in this way. It brought joyful tears to our eyes. I knew then, we were blessed with the true presence of Julie. I could now let her go, accepting and honoring her decision to pass in this way. It was truly big medicine and something I will always be grateful for.
So today, I honor my sister, Julie, and the bright light she was in our lives during her better days. Her spirit lives in me like holy water to my soul.